Bryce Dallas Howard wasn’t immune to the Robert Pattinson craze that began when the first Twilight film came out in 2008. In fact, she may have been his No. 1 fan, and wrote on his face for years. Well, kinda.

Stopping by PeopleTV’s Couch Surfing recently, the actress and director revealed that one of her best friends who knew about her fandom “made a bunch of Post-it Notes for me with a picture of Rob’s face.”

As Howard told host Lola Ogunnaike, “Under it, it said, ‘Live dangerously.’ I wrote all my notes on that for years.”

Unsurprisingly, one person who didn’t fully appreciate Howard’s love for R-Patz was her husband. “When I first saw the first Twilight movie, I watched it with my husband,” she said, “and whenever Robert Pattinson came on screen, I would squeeze his hand so hard.”

Eventually, he got fed up. “At a certain point he was like, ‘Can you stop squeezing my hand when that man goes on screen?'” Howard said.

And in a “wonderful” stroke of luck, she got to appear alongside her crush in Twilight: Eclipse. In the film, which premiered almost exactly 10 years ago, she portrayed Victoria, a vampire whose head gets bitten off by Pattinson’s Edward.

Howard happily reported that the actor was “a total sweetheart,” and even kept some fun souvenirs: “Xavier [Samuel] took a bunch of photographs that I still have with my decapitated head, mourning my decapitated head.”

Watch the video above for more from Howard.